My Sex Life, Oreo Cookies and Hot Flashes

bald guy head on fireFor those of you that don’t know me, I’m 6’ tall, have long wavy brown hair, I’m known around town as “that cool guy” and can usually be found in the presence of a beautiful blond.
For those of you who do know me, you know that’s a lie! I’m 5’7”, bald, suffering with hot flashes and the blond I’m usually seen with is my neighbor’s golden retriever, Sidney – who is in love with my right leg and deems it necessary to demonstrate the depth of his devotion to my right leg every time he sees me.

Aside from Sidney’s amorous advances, being 5’ 7”, periodically perspiring for no apparent reason and being bald tends to preclude me from the “babe magnet” status I think I might enjoy. There isn’t much I can do about my height and the hot flashes will hopefully “burn” themselves out. However, I do have a choice when it comes to being bald – Propecia. Back in the late 1990’s Propecia was a new drug being prescribed for male pattern baldness. But there were possible side effects listed in the brochure that weren’t too thrilling: “a small number of men (2%) experienced certain sexual side effects. These men reported the following: less desire for sex…or sexual dysfunction” I knew that being one of the “small number of men” would be a large price to pay for a full head of hair. However the odds were in my favor. There was a 98% chance I could end up a 5’ 7” hairy “babe magnet” who desires sex and functions properly.

I started losing my hair when I was 18 and it seems that as my hairline got higher, the number of women I met got lower. I don’t know the exact ratio of women I haven’t met with the number of hairs lost, but last Saturday night when I was sitting home – alone – eating Oreo cookies and watching Hamlet on A&E, it sure seemed to be a significant number. “To be or not to be: that is the question.”… Oh Please! “To Propecia or not to Propecia?”… Now that’s a question! Well, instead of risking my libido I chose to stay bald, have an okay social life and risk getting fat from Saturday night Oreo binges.

The reason I’m bringing this up is, I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and am at a stage of treatment where it is necessary to receive hormone treatments. The irony of the whole thing is that the side effects of the hormone therapy are the same as the side effects of Propecia with hot flashes thrown in – and there’s not a new hair on my head to show for it! I’m sure Propecia is still available, but who the hell wants to be a 5′ 7″ hairy “babe magnet” with hot flashes and no libido. Patrick Henry once said, “Give me liberty or give me death!” and I’m saying, “Give me Oreos if you are going to give me hot flashes!” And speaking of Oreos, there are two schools of thought on the proper way to eat an Oreo. Some Oreo eaters (myself included) just start chomping away savoring the taste of the creamy center as it mixes with the crunchy texture of the chocolate cookies. Then there are the annoying Oreo eaters who take the time to meticulously separate the two cookies exposing the creamy center, eat the exposed creamy center and save the two chocolate cookie pieces for last…give me a break! – just eat the damn cookie.

If you choose to respond to this post, no lewd comments about Sidney and me please – he’s not my type, gender preference or species.

Submitted by: Jon Weinstein

PS – Kathy and I have been friends since the mid 70’s. I have cherished that friendship and I’m honored to be the first male to post my thoughts (bizarre as they may be) on her blog.
PPS – If any of you “flashionistas” out there know of anyone struggling with prostate cancer and its side effects, feel free to have them contact me through Kathy’s blog. I have found that, as supportive and loving as family and friends can be, communicating with someone who is going through the same thing helps tremendously.

Birthing a book

Oh, the village it took to help me get my book out into the world! As many of you know, I have worked on my labor of love “Hot Flashes Cool Insights – Your Fashion, Beauty, Health & Mindset Guide to Menopause” for 2 years now. She’s ready! The official launch date of the book will be Thursday, September 26th.

I am filled with joy and, yes, a little trepidation too. I hope you love her as much as I do.The process of putting together a project and then sending it out into the world is a daunting one. It’s also liberating to wrap it up and present it to the masses.

I had no idea when I started the book how many changes it would put me through. The clear days of creative flow as well as the stormy days of creative doubt. I suppose it’s the nature of the feast we dine on when we decide that we must feed our creative soul.

I am still digesting the full impact of why the cover design proved to be such a hurdle for me. The end result is beautiful! The start of the process was unsettling for me. It is not my intent to disparage, in any way, the talent of the first two graphic designers I hired. They are very talented people indeed. Its just that we were not on the same page about conveying my vision. I seriously started to doubt myself and was, in fact, even told that I was not communicating clearly and didn’t know what I wanted. What I wanted was a creative collaborator who “got me” and understood the underlying message of my mission. Someone who could convey via imagery how I wanted women to feel when they see the book.

The significance of how important the cover was to me started to reveal itself. It was representative of how I present myself to the world. I ended up with my photo on the cover, not because of ego, but because I couldn’t find a “stock photo” of a woman in menopause that was well represented. They were all frumpy, grumpy angry looking women. You can read more about this in the final chapter of my book.

I swear I could write a book about what it’s like to write a book! To put together the final pieces, i.e. the cover design, asking for endorsements and the courage to simply say “it’s done, it’s ready, it may not be perfect, but it’s done” was like running the last half of the marathon.  Overcoming the three-headed monster aka fear, doubt, insecurity is character building of that I am certain.

And, so my dearest Hot Flashionistas, I humbly ask for your support and your spirited celebration as I birth my book. May she serve you well.



Hormone Balance: Don’t Go Off the Edge

Stay balanced – and I don’t mean balanced on one foot while doing the tree pose in yoga class! A Hot Flashionista knows that keeping her EPT levels balanced is what makes her healthy, happy and oh, so juicy. Knowing your Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone levels (or numbers) is as important as knowing all the other “numbers” that are key to your health and happiness. For instance, we probably all know our weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, shoe budget, what 15% off a $200 handbag is; but, do you have any idea what your estrogen level is? How about your progesterone or testosterone?

If you are between the ages of 35 and 51, you may very well be experiencing some symptoms of perimenopause or menopause. The average age for perimenopause is 35. The average age for menopause is 51. There are a lot of us that fall into that category. In fact, there are 70 million of us right here in the good ole’ USA who are entering the divine sisterhood of yo-yo hormones on a daily basis.  You are not alone. Feel better? Good.

How do you get balanced? There are several ways to get tested. The most common method is a simple blood test. To begin, ask your doctor to order the test. Keep in mind though that most doctors including our OB/GYN’s, internists and endocrinologists will only receive 1 to 2 hours of education on menopause and sex education during their medical training. Crazy, right?! The good news is The North American Menopause Society has put into place a certification program for physicians and nurse practitioners to become educated about menopause symptoms and treatment. It’s imperative that you be a persistent and powerful advocate for your health. Demand answers and options for finding solutions. Be patient, my darlings. If you’ve waited too long and your hormones are way out of balance, it may take some time to find the right balance again. Quite often, there is a trial and error period on hormone replacement therapy to find what works best. We don’t want you to settle for what’s “normal”, we want you to discover what is “optimal” for you. So, stick with it. Your health and happiness depend on it! If you need help finding the right doctor/practitioner, call me…it’s what I do…I help you find solutions. The ultimate goal is to have you feeling like a SuperCoolHotFlashionistaLoveThing!